ApathyIsBoring is… kinda boring.


Well not really, but with a name like that, these guys are kind of asking for it. Here’s how I’d get them some publicity with a bit of viral marketing…

I heard something really interesting during a youtube interview with Alex Bogusky of CP+B. Part of New Media/Social Marketing is about envisioning a world not too far from our own, this sort of thinking led to the idea of Coke suing CokeZero (in a world where litigiousness goes out of control).

Here, I was thinking about politicians who would take out ads to gloat outside . Since nobody votes anyway, and everybody’s apathetic, these guys and gals in power have decided not to bother persuading us of anything. The nugget of truth in this is that most of us are so cynical this is what we secretly believe they think anyway. The point here is that they don’t even think we’ll do anything about it.

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Gordon Reed


GR: You see, I’m basically the kind of politician everybody hates, because everybody is so cynical about politics. And you know what? They’re right! I love to get in on the freebies, hell I’ll even take the stuff that isn’t. The supply people wonder why the pens keep disappearing, where the paper-clips go, and why there’s never any paper, printing or toilet. People always ask me what the hell happened to the donuts and the coffee. The answer is, basically, me. Actually it’s my interns, I get them to swipe that stuff for me, and why not? It’s the taxpayers’ dime and its not like I’ve got anything else to do for them anyway. Actually >laughs< sometimes I get them to draft ‘policy papers’ for the environment, make ’em as long as possible, then I wave ’em around at the meetings, use them to justify my building this green thing or that, then I chuck ’em out, straight into the trash. It’s fun to be wasteful, like I give a damn.


Kickbacks. Now there’s where the real fun begins. Every once in a while the city gets to decide on a contract, maybe it’s to build a road, sometimes it’s to fix something you assholes broke. You know how this works right? We put out a call to get some offers on the table, then we go with the lowest bidder, some po-dunk company that’s headed by my pal Greg or Al or Bob, it doesn’t matter, as long as they pay me to vouch for them. Then construction starts, and the workers go on strike, and then we pay ’em some more, and then they pay me more. It’s glorious!


The only thing I don’t like about this job is you guys, citizens. You whine and you moan and you cry—wah wah wah—about all your little problems. Then you make me go to your dumb cultural events, have me speaking about crap nobody cares about. Why, if you guys weren’t such suckers, and if it weren’t so easy to fill my pockets here, I’d have gotten out of the politics business a long time ago. C’mon, admit it, you guys love me! >laugh< Actually, you just can’t be bothered to get rid of me, so I keep coming back. Because I may be the guy nobody wants to vote for, but I’m also the guy who gets the job because nobody wants to vote. >laugh<


VOICE: Ever wonder who you vote for by not voting? Www.g-reed.ca


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