Crest Sound Campaign Radio Scandalous Spec Ad3
by Richard Tseng
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
SFX: QUIET RESTAURANT, WHISPERS, CLINKING PLATES/CUTLERY, ‘MONSIEUR?’ BEING SAID BY A WAITER SOMEWHERE…
RL (GORDON RAMSAY ACCENT): Chef Rodney Lambdon here to get this >bleep<hole back on its feet, and back into a respectable hole-in-the-wall. Right, so let’s start with the food.
WAITER: Zee salmon avacado sal-edd weez choc-lit sauce end gar-leek butter au gratin.
SFX: PLATE SET ON TABLE, FORK CLINKING AS IT MOVES FOOD AROUND PLATE
RL: Unbelievable! This >bleep<ing >bleep< looks like a dog >bleep< all over the >bleep<ing food! For God’s sake, please don’t let it be as bad as it looks…
SFX: FORK SPEARING LETTUCE SOUND, CRUNCHING OF FOOD, SOUND OF GAG REFLEX, CHAIR BEING PUSHED BACK, STOMPING FEET—
RL: Mmm! Mmm!
WAITER: Zee bathroom eez zat-a-way!
SFX: STOMPING FEET, SILENCE INDICATING WE ARE BY THE BATHROOM DOOR
RL: OH MY GOD!
SFX: HAND HITTING DOOR, IT SWINGING OPEN AND THEN SLAMMING SHUT. MUFFLED SHOUT OF ‘AAAH! PTOOEY!’
SFX: HURRIED CLIPPING OF SHOES ON TILE, DOOR SWINGS OPEN
WAITER: Monsieur? Toothbrush et toothpaste de C r e s t (says brand name with flourish).
SFX: SOUND OF BRUSHING, TAP RUNNING, *PING*, RELAXING ‘AH…’ SILENCE, THEN CHEF SAYS ‘CREST’ WITH AN AUDIBLE SMILE , IT IS A SOUND OF PURE, RELAXED EUPHORIA.
RL: Where was I? Oh yes, I’m so sorry, but I suggest you try cooking the salmon for about five minutes longer, serving the avacado at least a few days before the expiry date rather than after, and not try to blend so many disagreeable flavors on one plate. Service was quick and responsive but might I recommend some changes to the recipe?
ANNOUNCER (Exaggerates the word) : Cr e s t, the sound of a healthy clean.
RL: Compared to the soap me mum used to use on me dirty mouth, this Crest stuff is delicious—d’you know that?